Reviving Marital Relationship (2)
I welcome you to another edition in our series on Reviving Marital Relationship. In the first week, I spoke on things to do in reviving a marital relationship, which is by having positive desires in your heart and speaking the right words with your mouth, thereby having your expectations come to pass if you believe. This week, by the enabling power of the Holy Spirit, we shall be examining Intimacy: a pillar for a healthy marital relationship.
Intimacy is the pillar for every successful marriage and it is the responsibility of the man and his wife to build and develop a strong and healthy intimate life in their marriage. Many couples wistfully remember those sweet, innocent times before marriage that they were so interested in each other. A loving and joyful marriage is one in which both partners are intimate with each other. Intimacy is crucial for strong family and marital relationships.
Intimacy is the closeness of you and your spouse in all ways. It is not an achievement but something you nurture every day of your marriage. If you neglect intimacy in your marriage, you both will grow apart and have a dry marriage. Intimacy means a warm, close, confidential or private relationship, which develops through long association, friendship and familiarity. When we talk about intimacy in marriage, it is that warm, close, confidential or private relationship between the husband and his wife, which should be the most intimate relationship a husband and wife should be in. Neither of them should be as close to anyone else as they are to one another.
Intimacy indicates the deepest level of privacy that one can think of. Intimacy is what makes marriage to be successful and enjoyable. Without intimacy, marriage becomes horrible, cold and lonely. God commanded the husband to cleave to his wife, that is to spend time with her so as to ‘know’ her more. For intimacy to be developed in marriage, both husband and wife should depart from all forms of interferences and cleave to one another to become one flesh. God’s Word says: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Therefore, you must leave so that you can cleave and when you do, you are sure to enjoy intimacy in your marriage.
Types of Intimacy
This is the closeness created through sharing feelings, plans, thoughts and openness of mind. Emotion can be described as a strong instinctive feeling. Women generally understand emotions better than men. The first step to emotional awareness is to pay attention to each other’s feelings, identify them, and think of possible reasons for them. No reservations; be free and let the doors of your heart be open and not just that of your mouth.
Mental or intellectual intimacy
This involves husband and wife having the same thought, believing in the same thing, discussing highly intellectual ideas together such as politics, sports, etc. This reduces friction between couples as they never run out of topics to discuss. They become each other’s, gist partner.
Marriage has a spiritual dimension that involves both the husband and the wife observing religious practices together, such as fasting, praying, studying of the Bible, having a family altar and attending church together. As spiritual experiences are shared, you will become united in your attitudes and goals with your spouse.
Recreational & Social Intimacy
This involves enjoying activities like sporting activities, watching a TV program or preparing a meal together. These can be good ways to build recreational intimacy. Marriage has a social dimension in which the partners enjoy doing things together and spending time together. Couples should always plan to go on vacation by creating enough time to be together.
Financial or monetary intimacy
The fiscal dimension of marriage deals with decisions and actions concerning earning a living and spending money. This comes with discussing and sharing your finances and each other’s financial goals. If as a wife you don’t know how much your husband earns, then there is a financial intimacy problem.
Though listed last, thi is the most important determinant of healthy marital intimacy. Husband and wife share their physical love for each other by sharing their bodies and physically becoming one. This is one of the most important dimensions of healthy marital intimacy. Healthy sexual intimacy includes sexual frequency that both partners are satisfied with, sexual activities both partners enjoy, and open dialogue about sex. Someone once said, ‘A major strength for happily married couples is the quality of their sexual relationship’.
The grace to build strong intimacy with your spouse is available when you get born again. You get born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer of faith with me: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to you today as a sinner. I believe you died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept you as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom, in Jesus name. Amen.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21). With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).