NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE! (3)
FAMILY SUCCESS, AUGUST, 2017
NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE! (3)
It is my privilege to welcome you again to the presence of the Most High God and share His Word with you. Last week, I taught on maturity as a major and practical requirement for “oneness in marriage”. I said the connection that maturity has with marriage is that anyone who is mature for marriage should be able to accept responsibility for his actions.
This week, I shall be shedding more light on the “Parents-In-Law Factor” in making oneness a reality in the home.
It is God’s will that nothing should put your marriage asunder–not even your in-laws (Matthew 19:6). Marriage is a unique relationship that has its root in divinity (Genesis 2:22).
God’s Word says: Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour (Ecclesiastes 4:9). The mystery of two becoming one is a thing of joy, pleasure and high esteem at creation. When a man and a woman come together as husband and wife, they are expected to have entered a better way of living.
However, in some culture this mystery does not usually impress parents. The bride’s parents find it difficult to accept that they have given their daughter’s hand in marriage to the husband’s family. Likewise, the husband’s parents also do not recognize that it is no more their usual son, but a combination of their old son and a new daughter.
Some parents fail to recognize that what now emerges in marriage is neither the man nor the woman but the fusion of these two personalities which should automatically redefine their relationship. Parents from both sides are friends to the couple, but not part of their decision making. Thus, they should not intrude into their affairs.
Any private discussion with parents by either of the couple MUST come to an end once marriage is contracted. That is, neither the husband nor the wife can hold exclusive discussions with parents, without the knowledge of the other person. This is because they are no longer two but one. The husband now owns the wife and vice versa. Thus, parents from both sides must relate with the couple at the same time and in the same way.
Secondly, because you are no longer two but one, visits to parents must be planned together and at the same time. Your meal should be served together whether at home or outside the home. You shouldn’t, for any reason, move to your mother’s room (as if to suck some breast); thereby, leaving your partner in the cold thinking of when he/she will in turn go to suck the mother’s breast.
Whatever your parents cannot tell you in the presence of your spouse is probably not good for your home and is not worth it. Even if your parents believe that information is not for your spouse’s consumption, his/her presence with you will protect you and your home. Do not leave your spouse behind with his/her parents; your becoming one flesh can be jeopardized that way.
Thirdly, when it comes to giving to parents or meeting relatives’ needs do it together. Needs arising from both sides should be treated with one mind. Sit together on the couch, while they present their needs.
Even when parents write you separately, reply jointly with two of you sending your regards. That way, they will get the message that nothing is done behind the other’s back; thus, no hanky-panky would set in. Gradually, they will realize that truly, you are no longer two but one.
Making decisions is another area you need to treat with all seriousness. When one person makes a decision without the other’s approval, it often leads to feelings of regret or selfishness. Making decisions together and as a family is very vital in marriage.
Learn to delay decision making on any issue of concern, especially if it has to do with the home, wait until your spouse is around, so that you don’t have to alter the previous decision. This way, you build trust and respect for each other, thereby, forming a stronger marital bond.
This “oneness relationship” can only be secured in God by confessing your sins and accepting Him as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you are set for this, say this prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).