MAKING QUALITY DECISIONS (4)
MAKING QUALITY DECISIONS (4)
From past teachings, we saw the importance of choice making. We went on to study the character of people in the Bible who made the right choices in their lives. Last week, we also saw how to make the right choices. This week, I will take further look at: The Platform for Your Choice.
From my studies I discovered that the basis upon which people make their choice of life partners is tri-dimensional: physical, soulish (emotional, intellectual) and spiritual. Once they sense a bonding or unity in any or all these three areas with someone, they believe that they have located their spouse.
Unity of the flesh
Some people get into marriage when they have a unity of the flesh or unity in the physical with someone. For example, you see a young man or woman and say, “Oh, he is handsome,” or “Oh she is beautiful. Look at her figure, look at her complexion.” All that has attracted you is simply the physical appearance. While nothing is wrong with this type of attraction, it is a wrong premise to contract a relationship that will last a lifetime.
What many people tend to forget is that people change over time. The man who is broad shouldered, flat tummy and muscular today, can become potbellied, flabby and bald tomorrow. So, if your relationship is only based on the physical appearance of a person, your love will fade as his or her looks change.
Unity of the soul
The second platform upon which many people select a mate is the soulish, which includes the emotions, intellect and will. Perhaps you find a woman who reasons like you do. Both of you share the same interests in music, dance, drama etc. So you think, “Ah, maybe she can make a good wife.”
On the other hand, you meet someone and you look at the person and you ‘fall’ head-over-heels in ‘love’. You develop strong feelings for the person, and decide to get married. However, basing a relationship on unity of the soul is risky because likes and dislikes change. The things you like doing today, with time, you may find childish or you simply lose interest in them.
Then again, emotions are fickle. That’s why you hear of people who fell in love but have now fallen out of love! Therefore, although it is essential to agree in your likes and dislikes, have similar interests, be emotionally attached to one another, these cannot be the main reason why you contract a marriage.
Unity of the Spirit
The most important unity that must exist between a man a woman, and which will determine how much the marriage flourishes is that of the Spirit. This can only happen between two born-again Christians, because outside Christ, all men are spiritually dead. When an individual is said to be born-again, it is his spirit which died in Adam that has now been re-born.
When there is unity of the Spirit, there is an agreement in fundamental spiritual matters. God’s Word says: Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God. Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgement. And this will we do, if God permit (Hebrews 6:1-3). Find out if you agree on certain doctrinal issues.
- In essence, do you agree on repentance from dead works?
- Do you agree on the importance of faith towards God?
- Do you agree on the doctrine of Baptism of the Holy Ghost and immersion by water)?
- Do you both believe in the laying on of hands (either for impartation or healing)?
- Do you both believe in the resurrection of the dead (or is he a Sadducee?)
- Do you both believe in eternal judgment?
- Are you heading in the same direction? Do you have a similar calling or vision?
- Are there other doctrines, which his or her church subscribes to? Do you know them and are you comfortable with them?
Because the most important of the dimensions is spiritual, I have found that even when the physical and soulish are not 100%, once the spiritual is intact, the others also find fulfillment. This is why it becomes very necessary for you to surrender your life to Christ. This is by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. Peradventure, you are not born again and you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, then say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)