Maintaining Purity in Courtship (3)
FAMILY MATTERS, OCTOBER, 2017
Maintaining Purity in Courtship (3)
In courtship, you have to protect your marital destiny by protecting yourselves from defilement. As I said last week, do all in your power to see that the foundation of marriage you lay during courtship is not destroyed through the lust of the flesh. Defilement of bed is the defilement of marital destiny. It takes the mercy of God to restore the honour in marriage, once it is defiled. This week, I shall be talking about “Abstaining from all appearances of evil.”
Temptation is not equal to sin. Falling into temptation is what is termed sin. Jesus was tempted at all points, just as we are, yet He was without sin. You take cover under God in prayers and then take practical steps to protect yourself from falling. Protection is very crucial to your desired future. While in courtship, there should be no room for sexual relationships or anything that leads to it. Somebody says, “But we intend to marry.” As long as you are not yet married, it is sinful for you to go into it or do anything that leads to it.
The reason a good number of people in courtship get involved in pre-marital sex, is heavy petting that got out of control. Many who found themselves in it had no intention of having sexual intercourse, but one thing led to another. This is like the child who stood at the edge of a forest fire and says, “But I only lit a match.” That is why the Word of God says: Abstain from all appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22). Another translation says that we should flee from all appearances of evil.
Don’t wait until evil comes before you flee. It starts from kisses to passionate petting and before you know what is happening, the bed is defiled. By so doing, the seed of bitterness and problems for your future home is sown. Some girls have found themselves pregnant with babies they were not prepared for. For some individuals, the feelings of guilt become barriers to adjusting in marriage. It is like a wound, even when a wound is healed, the scar is left behind. That is why care has to be taken, so that when you begin in the Spirit, you do not switch over to the flesh. The only way out is to keep walking in the Spirit, for when you walk in the Spirit, you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
Even if one of the partners is being tempted, the other should be able to help him overcome. It takes two to defile the bed. Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself (and this was under the old covenant), and he was not defiled. But we are operating under a better covenant based on better promises and it should be easier for us today to overcome, than it was in the days of Daniel. Purpose in your heart not to defile yourself and you will not be defiled. You earn respect from your partner when you marry as a virgin. Sin is deceitful; it looks sweet initially, but bites at last. Let your relationship before marriage be a holy one, that which will bring glory to God and honour to you. This is easy as you learn to walk in the Spirit. With the HIV/AIDS scare terrorizing the world today, there is no safer precaution than choosing a life of purity and chastity. There is no medical cure for this deadly virus, and most carriers of the HIV/AIDS virus don’t have it written on their foreheads; prevention is indeed better than cure. In courtship, always seek the Lord uncompromisingly and He will preserve the treasure He created in your bodies.
With the help of the Holy Ghost, it is possible to say “No!” to premarital sex. Christian parents have a role to play in educating their children on the ills of pre-marital sex. Even the unbelieving and secular world has suddenly discovered the need for purity. It realizes that the condom is limited in its ability to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, so it has taken to the streets crying out to the young to say “No!” to pre-marital sex. The miseries of abortion and promiscuity can be avoided if purity is maintained.
As I said earlier, it takes a walk in the Spirit and the help of the Holy Spirit to maintain purity in courtship. To walk in the Spirit, you have to be born of the Spirit by accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you want to be born-again and enjoy the help of the Holy Spirit, say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born-again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).