Maintaining Purity in Courtship (2)
FAMILY MATTERS, OCTOBER, 2017
Maintaining Purity in Courtship (2)
Last week, I started this teaching on how to maintain purity in courtship by showing you the purpose of courtship. However, this week I shall continue with that teaching.
Some Christians begin in the Spirit and end up in the flesh. The Word of God lists all the various works of the flesh: Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21).
Some begin quite well in the Spirit, but mess up half way by engaging themselves in the works of the flesh. All categories of uncleanness are referred to as the works of the flesh. Since courtship is not marriage, you have no marriage rights over the other until marriage is contracted. The Bible says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). Marriage is an honourable thing when the bed is undefiled. Once the bed is defiled, that marriage has lost its honour. What you do with the bed during courtship amounts to laying a foundation for what your marriage will be like when you get into it. The law of sowing and reaping still holds here. The Bible says: Whilst the earth remaineth, seed time and harvest shall not cease… (Genesis 8:22). Since the earth is still remaining, whatever a man sows, he will reap. When the bed is defiled, the seed is sown and you can be sure that it will produce and when harvest time comes, it will manifest.
Discuss your visions and goals together
In other not to engage in the works of the flesh, this is the time to discuss about your visions and goals together. This is a very important point to note. Goals and plans for the future ought to be made clear to each other. Marriage is for help, not hurt. It is a decision made by you to help the other party fulfill his or her goals and vision in life and vice versa.
Before I married my husband, I had known what direction he wanted to take. I had known his depth of love for God, his character and his integrity. Ours was quite a long courtship but I have no regrets. It has really helped me in being able to understand the kind of person he is and because of that, we have enjoyed every bit of our marriage. Just a word of caution “A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.” When you discover differences that show incompatibility, it is wiser to dissolve the relationship instead of being another number on the divorce list.
Check for maturity
Since the period of courtship is a time of proving all things, it is wisdom to prove his or her maturity. In God’s concept, marriage is for men and women, not for boys and girls. The Bible says: The rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man (Genesis 2:22). The Word of God also says: Therefore shall a man…cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Take particular note of these words ‘man’ and ‘woman’ in the above passages. Maturity is required before marriage. One needs to be matured spiritually, physically and emotionally and this must be addressed in courtship.
However, maturity can be determined from two viewpoints: age and ability to handle life situations. These two put together, help in determining how mature an individual is. One that is mature for marriage should be able to assume responsibility for his or her actions, and take up the welfare of his or her spouse and children. If you are not mature enough to be a parent, then you are not mature enough for marriage. Adulthood is a basic requirement for success in marriage.
When you are spiritually, emotionally and physically mature for marriage, you will be able to control various aspects of your life and also, you will be in control of your emotions. Wild emotions or impure emotions can lead to defilement of the marriage bed in courtship. You will discover, therefore, that God’s concept of courtship is quite different from man’s concept. Everybody has a choice to make – whether or not to accept man’s concept or God’s. However, it should be noted that God, who is the sole designer of courtship and marriage, has the correct view. His view must be taken, if we desire to reap the full reward of honour in marriage via pure courtship.
If you desire more counsel, ask God in prayer. For your prayer to be answered, you need to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If this is your desire, say this prayer in faith: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born-again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).