Maintaining Purity in Courtship (1)
FAMILY MATTERS, OCTOBER, 2017
Maintaining Purity in Courtship (1)
I am glad to let you know that, marriage can be one of the sweetest experiences on earth. However, it can also be a bitter pill depending on how you go about it. The Lord designed marriage from inception to be a thrilling experience filled with joyful events, new discoveries, and the euphoria of companionship. After designing and creating the blueprint for a happy home, the Bible says: And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good… (Genesis 1:31). But the natural man with his own rules and ideologies corrupted it and this led to the “bitter pill” experienced in marriage and family today. The Word of God says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). As believers in Christ Jesus, He has not left you alone to be confronted with the bitter experiences some have in marriage, through the defilement of the marriage bed in courtship. The Lord Jesus has provided in His Word, guidelines that will help you triumph in any area of your life, including courtship and marriage. If you will just follow them, you will reap the blessings that they carry.
The subject of marriage begins when two individuals, man and woman, make a decision to marry each other. That is the beginning of a real relationship. A real relationship is one where you love that person enough to be honest. Honest about who you are, what you plan to do and be, and how you feel about them. At this point, what does God’s Word say to the believer? It says: Prove all things… (1 Thessalonians 5:21).
To prove means to examine. You prove by getting to know the person better. Your would-be spouse needs to be proved. You too need to be proved, in order to know if you can cope. It is to know if you can actually be a help to the other person. This period of waiting and watching before the actual wedding is called courtship. Others call it, “going steady”. Whatever the case is, this is the period where you determine if you have made the right choice or not. At such a time, you need to be very alert and not be blinded by romantic feelings, because marriage is not a fantasy, but reality.
Next to love, the most important ingredients in relationships are openness and honest communication. If, as an intending wife you lack communication with transparency and vulnerability, then you need to work on these areas! Communication is a crucial foundation to every marriage, and open communication is necessary in order to understand what is truly motivating each other when you have differing points of view. Courtship is a period you get more acquainted with your would-be spouse. Despite the fact that you are getting closer and knowing each other better, courtship period should not be equated to marriage. What you do with this period determines how your marriage will turn out to be. This is actually the foundational stage of marriage. The Word of God says: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalms 11:3). At this stage, you can’t move in or sleep with your would-be partner in an attempt to know each other better. It is ungodly, unhealthy and doesn’t allow you establish a good foundation for your marriage. To maintain purity in courtship, you ought to know what to do during courtship. When you know what to do during courtship, you will be able to have a fulfilled one. I shall be taking some of them in these teaching and subsequent ones.
How then do you maintain purity in courtship?
As believers in Christ, you need to take time out to pray together and share God’s Word together. This helps you to ascertain your partner’s spiritual depth and genuine love for God. Pray together with this in mind.
Play games, visit friends together
In the process of doing this, you get to know who your partner’s real friends are. This is another way of knowing whom you are about getting married to. The saying goes, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are” and if I may add “whom you will become” (Proverbs 20:13).
Visit family members
It is wise you don’t rush into this step, until your conviction is strengthened and you are sure of your partner. By so doing, you owe your integrity not only to God but also to your family. From the foregoing, you need wisdom to discern the kind of man or woman you want to live the rest of your life with.
To obtain wisdom, you need to accept Jesus who is the Wisdom of God as your Lord and personal Saviour by saying this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born-again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).