Love: A Principal Ingredient in Marriage (3)
Love: A Principal Ingredient in Marriage (3)
Marriage built on anything less than mutual love and respect cannot weather the storms of life. Paul writes: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Likewise, he instructed Titus saying, Train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children (Titus 2:4). This week, I will be sharing with you on mutual submission.
Submission has to be done in love. When submission is rooted in love, it is perfect and brings God’s presence down in the home. Even if a woman has an unbelieving husband, if her submission to him is absolute, she will wake up one day to see the man ready and eager to follow her to church. I saw from 1 Peter 3:1 that a woman does not need words to win her unsaved husband to Christ. Her actions can perform the miracle.
Note that the submission I am talking about is not slavery, but submission in love. God’s Word says: That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed(Titus 2:4-5).
What does God expect of women in this area? First of all, we must understand that submission is an attitude and not just an action. Submission begins in the heart. There is a story about a little boy that was instructed by his teacher to sit down and be quiet. Because of his rebellious nature, he did not want to do this, but was forced to by his teacher. Later, the children in the class were chiding him by saying, “Boy, you really sat down and shut up when the teacher approached you with the paddle.” The rebellious boy replied, “I may have been sitting down on the outside, but I was still standing up on the inside.”
Many times, women who claim to be submissive are only outwardly going through the motions of submission, while inwardly they are still resenting their position in life.
On the other hand, the husband must consciously ignore the negative, unattractive things about his wife and say the positive. He must express his love through the things he says about and to his wife. He must always tell her how much he loves her, how much she means to him, how he loves the way she does certain things, etc. With time, he will discover that she begins to measure up to his expectations. If he calls her a virtuous woman, she will long to live up to that title. The faith she needs to become all the things he says she is, comes as she constantly hears them (Romans 10:17).
Express your love, be concerned about her welfare, notice new things about her and buy her gifts from time to time. In essence, cherish her, nourish her and ravish her with your love. It is not unmanly to demonstrate your love in your actions and attitudes. Don’t criticise or ridicule her; don’t make her feel there is nothing she knows how to do. Encourage and motivate her to be her best for God.
As husband and wife, you must make sure you learn to speak one another’s love language. If your spouse responds to physical touch, caress him or her, touch him or her. If he likes words of encouragement, speak encouragement often to him or her. If he or she is the type that responds to acts of service, then be pro-active and do things for your mate.
Likewise, if it is quality time, spend the time and lastly if he or she responds best to giving gifts, make sure you surprise him or her often with gifts. In time, he or she will inevitably reciprocate the same to you. This is how you make each other feel good.
Love is something we choose to do. Choosing to love means:
- I choose to Love my husband/wife
- I choose to be patient with my mate
- I choose to be kind to my mate
- I choose to please my mate
- I choose to forgive my mate
- I choose to honour my mate
- I choose to trust my mate
- I choose to be understanding to my mate
- I choose to grow with my mate
- I choose to encourage my mate
- I choose to help my mate
- I choose to be truthful to my mate
- I choose to be faithful to my mate
- I choose to be unselfish with my mate
- I choose to be hopeful with my mate
- I choose to speak in love to my mate
- I choose to be my spouse’s mate the rest of my life!
What “Choice” have you made today?
Even if you are troubled in your marriage or your partner is not responding as you would like, you must still make the choice first. Do not let your heart become hardened. Ask God for the strength for you to choose to “love” today. Expecting nothing in return, open your heart to the gift of God’s Love.
To be able to benefit from what has just been discussed, you need to become a bonafide child of God. You become a child of God by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. If you are already born again, rejoice because your case is settled. If you are not yet born again and you desire to do so right now, please pray this prayer with faith in your heart: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).