KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL FAMILY III
Readers have sent text messages to me many times, asking me on what to do have a successful marriage and family life. My reply to every such one today is that you are the sole builder and the architect of your family. If your family life turns out to be successful, you have played a part in its success, even though God is the ultimate builder For every house is built by some man; but he that built all things is God. (Hebrews 3:4). If your family life is not successful, God is not to blame either, because He always keeps His own side of the covenant. Before your family can be built successfully, you have responsibilities to accept and fulfill.
It is a well-known fact that the quality of any establishment is largely dependent on the quality of its leadership. This is also applicable to the family. Today, we will look at, the main Secret of a True Family Man, in our quest for a successful family.
A true family man is a man of many parts. He must be a good leader that takes decisions, guarantee the welfare of the home, makes provisions for his family members physically and financially. Besides, he is a spiritual beacon: that is the priest of the home, interceding for each member of the family regularly. However, in this week’s series, I will be sharing with you one secret upon which all others hinge, which is love. The secret of the love he has for his family is a major motivation that moves him to fulfill all of his other responsibilities.
The man must be a loving leader and not a taskmaster. Love is a necessary ingredient that a man must possess for effective leadership. The instruction to love your own wife is a scriptural commandment for the man even as Christ loves the church: Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). Husbands are mandated to love there wife sacrificially, limitlessly and unconditionally and this has to be expressed. Love is not love until it expressed. Express your love to your wife in words and indeed.
Love is not only just a feeling of affection, it is a force that causes one to give and give all the time, not only when the woman does good, but also when she appears to be wrong in some aspects
Wherever love is present it can be seen, it can be read, it can be heard and it can be felt. It cannot be hidden. There can’t be effective leadership without love. However, anyone who draws people to himself, who is touched by their feelings, and shows concern for them is always an effective leader. As a man, if you want to be in control of your home, you need to use the weapon of love. Love and control are two sides of the same coin. Where there is love, selfishness does not exist!
Loving as much as Jesus loves the church is the standard. Jesus loved the church when it had no comeliness. While we were yet sinners, Christ laid down his life for us (His Church) (I John.3:16). A true family man, therefore, does not wait for his wife to be perfect before he loves her but is unconditionally steadfast in the demonstration of his love for her and for his entire family. Whenever your wife is going wrong, lovingly call her back to order. Love sees danger afar off and warns the loved one of that danger by loving control methods.
God’s Word says: Love thinketh no evil. (1 Corinthians 13:5). Therefore, always resist any evil thought in you concerning your wife or other family members in the mighty name of Jesus. Next, ensure that you express your love verbally. If you can’t tell your wife you love her, who else do you want to tell? I hear it from my husband continually and it creates in me both the ability to submit and a reassuring commitment to make our home a delight always.
A true family man speaks good and godly words to his wife and children. When he calls his wife a virtuous woman, she longs to live up to that title. As he calls his children gifted and intelligent, they work hard not to disappoint his expectation. He disciplines them when necessary, with a heart full of love and compassion. He interacts (plays) with them, communicates with them, asks them relevant questions, allows them to ask him questions, and answers their questions. He is a good listener and he is always there for his family when they need him. Don’t be too busy to spend time with your family. I heard the daughter of one of the governors say on television that her father still finds time to come to their room and play with them. That gave me a lot of respect for that Governor. In spite of his very busy schedule, he still finds time for his daughters.
Husband, if you really love your wife you will treat her just like yourself. That is a major secret of family success. A pinch of salt looks so little, but when it is absent in any soup, it is very obvious. Similarly, no matter how great every other thing looks in a home when love is missing, it is going to be glaring to the whole world. These are the things that make a home sweet. Dear family man, there is no secret anywhere; obedience to these divine instructions will give you enviable results in your family life.
True love can’t be expressed without knowing the origin of love. God himself is love a man once said: “any man who doesn’t love God can’t know how to love aright”. Loving God first is the way to love, but you can’t claim to love God without accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savoir, and becoming his child. Jesus is the expression of God’s love for humanity. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
You can be His child by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. If you have not asked Jesus to come into your life or may have neglected your initial love for Him, then you should say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today, teach me to love even as you loved us. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21). With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)