How to Have a Successful Courtship
FAMILY MATTERS, SEPTEMBER, 2017
How to Have a Successful Courtship
I welcome you again to this unique platform in Jesus’ name! This month, I will be teaching on “How to Have a Successful Courtship.”
Today, I want to show you The Keys to a Successful Courtship. Courtship is the period when you get more acquainted with your would-be spouse. Despite the fact that you are getting closer to each other and getting to know each other better, the period is not the same as marriage. You can’t move in or sleep with your would-be spouse, in order to know each other better. It is unhealthy and doesn’t make for a good foundation in your marriage.
What, then, is courtship?
Courtship is the period between when two people agree to marry and when they actually do. Courtship is the process of selecting and attracting another for an intimate relationship. Remember, a successful courtship is a necessary step towards a successful marriage. The reason many people experience misunderstandings and all kinds of trouble in marriage is because they did not have a successful courtship.
KEYS TO A SUCCESSFUL COURTSHIP
- Spend quality time together: To have a successful courtship, the man and woman must spend quality time with each other deliberating on issues such as their dreams, interests, view points, callings and assignments, etc. This is why it is very important that you spend time in meaningful discussions, not just looking at each other and saying, “Oh you are so beautiful. I love you so much.” If you want to know a serious Christian, listen to him when he talks. It is impossible to separate an individual from his words. For instance, if your fiancé/fiancée only talks about money, it is an indication that he or she is a money-minded person. If on the other hand, he is only interested in your physique, you will hear him speak of nothing else but your physical features. Your words reflect your thoughts. The Word of God says: How can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh (Matthew 12:34).
When my husband and I were in courtship, every time I heard him speak, I knew where he was heading for. I knew his convictions, which were my convictions also. So, it became easy for both of us to flow together. It is very important, therefore, that you create time for your would-be husband or wife to discuss about issues pertaining to your future.
- Public appearance: This is very simple and significant if you want to have a successful courtship. As an intending couple, you must be seen together in public meetings. These are limited only to church services, wedding, matriculation and graduation ceremonies, public lectures, academic seminars, etc. However, be careful how you conduct yourselves in public. For example, how your partner responds to issues such as reactions to annoying situations and the way he/she relates to people is very important. This will be a sign of what the future holds. For instance, if he or she lacks Christian character, you’re heading for trouble by going into marriage with such a person. If you find out that, for any social reason, such as height, age, educational differences, physical defects, personal carriage, eating manner, etc., you are ashamed to appear in public with your future husband, you may never make a good couple. Be real and do not go through courtship with the eyes of your mind closed!
- Having pleasure in common things: You must know that courtship is not just a time of prayer, fasting and studying the Word of God. Although these are of great importance, courtship is also a time of enjoying common things together. For instance, both of you may enjoy taking pictures. It is okay! Have fun, but avoid anything that will lead to sin. Such pictures can be kept for future references. The other day, I saw some pictures that my husband and I took before we got married more than thirty years ago! It was a lot of fun! Those times help you discover whether you are actually meant for each other or not.
- Good communication: The basis for a fruitful and lasting relationship in any family is a good and effective communication. Lack of communication in a relationship is the reason for so much tension in many homes. Good communication is the “mortar” that cements the marital relationship. Communication is the key to a successful courtship and marriage. A wise man said, “If you talk together, you stay together.” I believe it is true, and you know, marriage is all about living together!
One of the easiest ways to communicate during courtship is through letters. This becomes very handy, especially if the individuals involved are not in the same city or town. There are also other means of communication such as telephone, etc, especially in these days of fast electronic media revolution. We have e-mails, facebook, twitter, instagram, etc., as other fastest means of conveying messages.
The first step to take, in order to have a successful courtship is to give your life to God through His Son, Jesus Christ. Giving your life to Christ entails confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. That is what being born again is all about. If you want to give your life to Christ and be born again, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).