How to Have a Successful Courtship (4)
FAMILY MATTERS, SEPTEMBER, 2017
How to Have a Successful Courtship (4)
I welcome you to this teaching in the mighty name of Jesus Christ! I have explained the keys to a successful courtship, the length of courtship and the forbidden fruit. Today, I will be teaching on “Having a Proper Marriage.”
Today, we have couples who have been living together for years and even have children without being properly married; no dowry has been paid, nor have they had any form of formal engagement. The account of the first marriage recorded in Genesis 2 clearly shows us that a form of formal wedding was conducted in the Garden of Eden. Adam did not just rise up to find Eve wandering about in another part of the garden, then took her home and they started living together. No! The Word of God says: …Brought her unto the man… (Genesis 2:22). God has to physically deliver her to Adam.
However, it is important to know that marriage is the basis for the family. If you must enjoy a sweet and a successful family, then you must first be properly married. You have to follow God’s own laid down principles for marriage which guarantee God’s blessings. You must pay the dowry which is scriptural. That you are a Christian does not override the payment of that which is due to the parents. The Word of God says: And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s (Mark 12:17). Dowry payment is the right of the bride’s family, so ensure you give it to them.
The Book of Genesis records a very graphic picture of a typical wedding and all that is required to be done. Abraham sent his servant to get a wife for his son, Isaac, from among his brethren. God prospered the servant’s journey and he found Rebekah (Genesis 24:51-53). I want you to know that precious things were given to Laban, who was at this point acting as the head of the family and to Rebekah’s mother too.
Also, I must mention that in the payment of dowry, you should watch the kind of things you present. Anything you know that will affect your Christian testimony should never be given. I remember what happened when my husband and I were to get married. My parents gave my husband a list of items to bring as dowry, and the list contained some items that would affect our Christian testimony. My husband simply discussed with them how such an act could affect us in future, in the light of the Word of God; those items were taken off the list. You have to let them know your stand, because no parent wants to jeopardize the future of their children. All it takes is a right word spoken in season. The Bible says: How forcible are right words! … (Job 6:25). If you approach your parents with the right words, I am definitely sure they will listen to you. Just ask for the help of the Holy Spirit to speak as you ought to, and to make you sensitive to right timing. That way, you will win them over on your side.
Having performed all that is required, you must ensure you obtain parental blessings. There is something about the blessings your parents pronounce on you that stick to you until all their good wishes be established in your life. Abraham’s servant did not just grab Rebekah and disappear with her. The Bible records in Genesis 24:58-60: And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go… And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them. These blessings became a practical reality in her life, and indeed we are all part of the thousands of millions prophesied upon Rebekah (Galatians 4:28). You shall also experience this dimension of blessings in Jesus’ name!
The place of a holy Christian wedding is also very important in marriage. In Genesis 2:22, we see God’s practical involvement in the institution of marriage. He was the one who gave Eve out to Adam. It will therefore, be unsafe to imagine you can survive the wickedness and attacks of the devil in the marriage institution without God. If truly God is your father, and only a bastard will desire to go outside his father’s house to get married, you need to get God’s blessing upon your marriage. The presence of God makes all the difference in life.
What happens at Christian weddings is that God is invited to be a part of the union, occupying His primary place. That cannot be overlooked. So, ensure a proper Christian wedding. In case you are already living together or you were never married in the church, it is important that you get your pastor to arrange to bless your union, even if you cannot have an open church wedding like it is done with new couples.
Moreover, it is very important to have the proper legal documentation of your union. In God’s dealing with man, He always ensures there is a token; which acts as a constant reminder of the terms of the covenant. A legal backup for your marriage is not a safety device, as the world would consider it. It is simply a point of contact to remind God that you have fulfilled all righteousness concerning your marriage, and therefore, the enemy must have no access into your family.
It is the presence of God that makes all the difference in your marriage. Do you want God to occupy the primary place in your marriage? Why not surrender your life to God if you are not born again? Pray this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).