ENJOYING MARITAL HARMONY (3)
ENJOYING MARITAL HARMONY (3)
You are welcome to this column once again. Today, we shall be looking at: ‘Understanding men and women differences’.
Understand that men and women are different both physically and emotionally. For instance, if you see a man, you don’t need anyone to tell you, “That is a man.” In the same vein, as a man is different from a woman physically, so is he different from her in every other aspect. With this understanding, it will be easy for you to know your partner better. Men and women are created –not to compete with each other, but to complement one another; so that whatever is lacking in one, the other will supply.
Men and women are also different emotionally and that can be seen in the way they respond to issues, their outlook to life and their generally attitude to things on a daily basis. The understanding of these differences will help you to actualise the harmony that God has destined for your marriage. You will make it!
The Area of Differences in Men and Women
In their thinking trend
Men think in a straight line and that helps them to maintain focus. So, when a man picks a thing, he focuses on it until it is accomplished because they think in a straight trend. On the other hand, we are told that women think in a grid. A “grid” is simply several lines. That is why you will discover that, naturally, it is possible for a woman to start many things at the same time but end up not accomplishing any of them.
This is why, among other things, God instituted marriage to ensure a balance. Balance is the key for harmony in marriage. For instance, while the husband is maintaining focus, the wife is there –sometimes, to say, “Take it easy. I need you, God needs you and the children need you.” Also, when the woman seems not to know what to focus on, the man is there to say: “I think you will do better in this or that area. Why don’t you believe God to give you direction?” He encourages her and then she begins to take giant steps in the things of God. I have said over and again, ‘If there is anything like another world, I will still marry my husband, Bishop David Oyedepo because, among other things, he has helped me a great deal to discover my God-given potentials. For that, I will ever be grateful, because now I know I am on course with destiny and purpose.
In terms of priorities
For men, their naturally priority is work. However, for the woman, relationship is a priority. She values relationships, her home, marriage and friends. That is why God orchestrated marriage to bring about balance and harmony in the home.
It is very important to understand that what oxygen is to a human being, is what respect from a wife is to her husband. Just as a human being cannot survive without oxygen, a husband cannot survive in a home without the respect of his wife. If women have an understanding of this, they will learn to respect their husbands more. Receive grace to respect your husband. As you begin to do so, you will discover that harmony will become a daily occurrence in your home.
For the women, what oxygen is to a human being is what love from the husband is to her. The question is: men, how much do you love your wife? Some men keep saying well, my wife knows that I love her. Yes she knows, but she wants you to always express it in words to her. You have to say it to her over and again and let her know that you really love her. It was Lester Sumrall of blessed memory who said in his book, God’s Blue Print for a Happy Home: “A man can never fully understand what the statement ‘I love you’ can do in the life of his wife”. That is the way God made us. So, I say to the married men, say it often and begin to practice it over and again, and watch how harmony in your marriage will be cheaply established.
So, when you look at the differences between men and women, you find out that balance is required. In addition, it is very important to understand that no amount of success at the office can take the place or compensate for the failure in the home. You shall not be a failure!
Finally, it is important to know that unconditional love will take the grace of God to display because love is God’s nature. For you to enjoy harmony in your marriage love must be at work. A wise man once said, “Love without truth is hypocrisy, and truth without love is brutality”. You will not be found in either of them! Rather, the love of God which is already shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Ghost will begin to empower, engrace, energise and enable you to secure harmony in your marriage.
Are you born again? This means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you desire this new birth experience, please say this prayer in faith: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom”.
If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).