DWELLING IN UNDERSTANDING (3)
DWELLING IN UNDERSTANDING (3)
It is with great delight that I welcome you to this week’s edition of family matters. Last week, I expounded on effective communication, among other things, as one major key to understanding your spouse.
Today, I will be discussing on: The Art of Communication. That is communication made easy. Having understood the place of effective communication in understanding your spouse, it becomes necessary for me to examine extensively how effective communication can enhance your relationship with your spouse, thereby bringing total understanding between both of you.
Effective communication among spouses, involves more than passing across a feeling, thought, message or desire. It goes beyond how a thing is said, when it is said and where it is said. In marriage, the word “communication” is broken down to “communion” which means “sharing of thoughts and feelings.” Breaking this further, it gives us “commune” which literally means to speak together as close friends. Until you successfully pass a message, a thought or a feeling across to someone else, you cannot be said to have communicated effectively.
It is with this notion that I will like to discuss with you, certain factors that make for true communication in order to help you understand your spouse.
Trust: Trust is the number one component in communication because it always keeps the communication lines open. You cannot effectively disclose your innermost dreams, thoughts and desires to someone you don’t trust. As a spouse, you must maintain an attitude of openness. You must not hide anything from your spouse no matter how minute. The Word of God says in Genesis 2:25, And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Even if it is something that happened in the past that you know has to do with building trust, make sure you do not hide it from your spouse. Many marriages and homes are in disarray today as a result of some hidden matters not disclosed before marriage that became revealed after marriage. Some individuals in marriage are even being blackmailed by such hidden matters today. If you are in that category, receive grace now to tell your spouse the truth in Jesus’ name. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven.
Trusting your spouse means having full confidence, faith and assurance that what you have told him or her will remain confidential. As a couple, you must work at being trustworthy because trust is the solid foundation, upon which effective communication is built; don’t destroy it.
Openness: it is written in Isaiah 58:7, … hide not thyself from thine own flesh. When two become one in holy wedlock, nothing should be kept secret. The Bible says in Ephesians 5:28, He that loveth his wife loveth himself. No one keeps a secret from himself, therefore, both of you must be open to each other in sincerity.
Openness breeds trust and trust is the foundation for effective communication. Don’t speak in parables to your spouse else he or she will not understand you. Be truthful in your communication. I have discovered that when a wound is covered, it tends to fester and worsen, but when it is opened, healing comes. Openness is not only for women; men also need to learn openness in the art of communicating with their wives. Understanding your spouse is not possible without being open to him or her.
Issues related to finances and sexuality are often difficult ones for spouses to effectively communicate about. This is due, partly to beliefs such as “You are supposed to know about that” and “Adults should be able to take care of money matters,” as well as “You should be able to handle all your own problems without seeking help.” I want to let you know that these are the issues that you should pay proper attention to and be open about, when discussing with your spouse. This will enhance your communication and bring about intimacy and understanding.
You need the Spirit of truth to be open to your spouse. This is available as you become born again by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. To be born again, say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through email@example.com, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).