DIFFERENCES IN MALE AND FEMALE (Part I)
You are welcome to this edition of the Family-life, where you will enjoy the presence of God. This month, I shall be exploring male and female differences. It is a very important subject which so many couples often neglect in their homes. It is my prayer that at the end of this teaching, your home shall become a loveable place in Jesus’ name!
I want you to know that everything about God is unique; He excels in variety. There are no two people who are exactly alike. I would like you to know that men are men and women are women and our various needs differ. An understanding of the uniqueness of the male gender will help the woman to appreciate why her husband acts the way he does, and this shall go a long way to preventing crisis in your family.
Understand that men and women are different. If you see a man, do you need anyone to tell you that? Men and women are different physically and emotionally. When you understand this, it will be easy for you to understand your partner better. Men and women are created, not to compete with one another; they are created by God to complement one another. Whatever is lacking in one, the other one will supply.
Men and women are different emotionally, in the way they respond in their outlook to life and to things generally on a daily basis. When you get to understand these differences, it will help you to maximize the harmony that God has destined for your marriage.
In their thinking trend: Men think in a straight line and that helps them to maintain focus. So, when a man picks on one thing, he focuses on it until it is accomplished. Men think in a straight trend. On the other hand, women, we are told think in several lines. That is why naturally speaking, it is possible for a woman to start one, two, three things at the same time, and at the end of the day, she may end up not really accomplishing any of them.
This is why among other things, God instituted marriage to ensure a balance. Balance is the key for harmony in marriage. When the man goes to the extreme, the woman is there sometimes to say,” Take it easy I need you” God needs you, the children need you. Also, when the woman seems to really not know which focus to maintain, the man is there in the home to say,” In this area, I think you will do better, in that area why don’t you believe God to give you direction.” He encourages her and then she begins to take steps, giant steps in the things of God. I have said over and again, if there is anything like another world, I will still marry my husband, Bishop David Oyedepo because, among other things, he has helped me a great deal to discover my God-given potentials. And for that, I will ever be grateful because now I know I am on course with destiny and purpose.
In terms of priorities: Naturally speaking, work is a priority to man but to a woman, the relationship is a priority. She values relationships, her home, her marriage, friends, and like I said, balance is the key. When you look at the differences, between men and women, you find out that balance is required. It is very important to understand that no amount of success at the office can take the place of failure in the home. You shall not be a failure.
An understanding of your spouse’s likes, dislikes, moods, and psychology are important because it will help you to be a greater blessing to him/her.
When you know these differences, you will refuse to be offended whenever your spouse is acting according to his/her gender. As male and female partners in marriage, we must understand and appreciate the peculiarities, which make up our personalities. The Word of God says: Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3).
God designed the man to be the head of the union. He is the provider. He was designed to take the lead, while the woman is the follower. When anyone tries to change this order, problems arise.
This accounts for why the male sexual drive is generally more than that of the woman. Sex is as eating, drinking or sleeping to a man because it provides an avenue for the release of tension. For instance, when faced with important decisions and the like, some men feel the basic way to release tension is through marital relations. An example of this truth is seen in the life of David and Bathsheba. God declared that the child which was a product of his infidelity would die. David was grieved and entreated the Lord in sackcloth and ashes for seven days, but the child still died. The moment David learned of it, he bathed, ate, drank. God’s Word says: And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bares a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the Lord loved him(2 Samuel 12:24).
What a time to make love! But this is characteristic of the male gender. Bathsheba was a considerate woman, to accept David’s love and give in to him. The woman, on the other hand, having worked all day, having attended to the children and done household chores, may find out that at the end of the day, making love is the last thing on her mind: she is simply tired! By nature, she is only ready for the act of marriage when she’s rested and relaxed. She may not desire it as often as the man does and may be puzzled why the man should. But the two are designed differently. The unique personalities of a husband and wife should contribute to a successful marriage, not to destroy it. On the other hand, women enjoy conversation, they want to be sure that lovemaking is not just an act, but a time of intimacy and fellowship. No woman wants to feel used.
Why is it necessary to know this? Because many are suffering in silence! They have a great marriage generally speaking, but the marriage bed remains their only source of concern. Do you need God’s grace to fulfill your marital obligations? Surrender your life to Jesus Christ and that grace shall come upon you today. If you want to give your life to Christ, say this prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the blissful God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204. For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).