ATTAINING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE (4)
ATTAINING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE (4)
I welcome you to this exciting moment in God’s presence! Last week, I showed you the hindrances to intimacy. This week, I want to share with you: Spices for Intimacy in Marriage. They are:
My precious husband says you can’t love without giving because giving is a way of expressing love. Similarly, it is a way of brightening up the atmosphere at home, when it is dull.
My husband uses this habit to keep the home lively. I remember one day at home, the atmosphere seemed dull and I felt gloomy. My husband sensed this before he left home. He came back home with a little gift, something very small, yet it reassured me that someone cares and loves me. This act stimulated me, and there was a new glow at home. As small as it was, I kept this gift in my room till today.
So, it is not good enough to say you don’t know what your husband likes or what your wife or children need. It is not the volume, but the expression of your care that really counts. The element of surprises, which the gift stirs up, is enough to cause another honeymoon. It is not the amount of money spent that matters, but the kind thought behind it.
Share important dates together
Celebrating important dates together creates excitement and brightens up your home. When speaking of important dates like Christmas and New Year, you should understand however that in a family, we are talking not just of Christmas and New Year. Birthday, anniversaries and so on can be observed, even if the one celebrating it has forgotten. If you give him or her surprise, it will create a well of joy, respect, honour and love.
Jesus gave us an example to follow during Passover. When He was about to be crucified, He called His disciples, the closest people to Him, and had a memorable supper with them. The Bible says… And they made ready the Passover … And he said unto them, with desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you … (Luke 22:13,15).
After supper He then said, …This do in remembrance of me …
The Israelites, too, had this habit of remembering events, especially those special things the Lord did for them; like their deliverance from Egypt. It is one of the things that have kept them together as a nation and people today. You, too, as a Christian can remember the things God has done in your life as an individual and family. You mark such dates as times of celebration of God’s faithfulness in your life and family. You don’t borrow to celebrate. You celebrate in love and joy, which are much more priceless.
Doing things together
This is another spice that adds glamour to your marital life. Jesus said: My Father works hitherto and I work also (John 5:17). The Lord was involved in His Father’s business. They worked together. It showed the Son’s interest and concern in the Father’s business. This speaks of togetherness. Doing things together eradicates every dull moment in your home.
So, make it a point of duty this month to surprise and appreciate your spouse and family members with surprise gifts. Also, make out time to be together to celebrate the Lord’s goodness in your family life.
You will never regret marrying your spouse. Your marriage shall not break in Jesus’ Name!
Give room to praise
Another way of spicing up intimacy in your marriage is by locating the good qualities in your spouse and children, and to praise them for it; rather than focusing on their areas of weakness and mistakes. Praise is the master key to an enviable Christian living, and that is the missing ingredient in most Christian homes.
I remember the story of a woman who went to a Counsellor and said, “My husband is very bad; I want to leave him.” The Counsellor drew a circle and said “Put a dot in the circle for every fault your spouse has committed.” The woman started putting dots in the circle for as many offences as she could remember – “He insulted me; he didn’t give me money, …” She rapped on until she could remember no more. The Counsellor then said, “Madam, the undotted space in the circle is still larger than the dotted part. That means your husband is not as bad as you want me to believe.” The woman was advised to go home and put things right with her husband.
So, no matter what might have happened in the past, there must still be some good qualities in your spouse. Focus on those positive points, and the bad ones will soon fade away.
Also, as a family, find time to praise God together, that will fill your home with God’s presence. Wherever God is, there is fullness of joy and pleasures forever more. No wonder God’s Word says: Thou wilt show me the path of life; In thine presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for ever more (Psalm 16:11).
If you are already born again, rejoice because your case is settled. If you are not yet born again and you desire to do so right now, please pray this prayer with faith in your heart: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).